If you’re looking for ways on how to get over working mom guilt you’re in the right place.
Since you’re here, I guess you feel guilty about being a working mom? You’re not the only one. I feel guilty every time I drop my daughter off in daycare at 6:30 in the morning so I can get to work on time.
Not to mention she cries every time so that breaks my heart even more. Not too long ago I read this while I was browsing some mom blogs: ‘If I ever have kids, I’m going to be a stay-at-home mom.’
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I agree with this 100 %. Now probably people will jump and say that you can still have a career as a mom or that a mom should still work and stuff like that.
What I’m trying to say is that I do have moments when I feel guilty because I’m at work for example instead of being with my daughter and just spend time with her (she’s 20 months).
And I do believe deep in my heart that it’s very important as a mom to be available for your child whenever needed (fever, sick, etc.) and not feel guilty that someone else (daycare for example) raises your child.
Being a working mom is tough and I appreciate each one of those moms who do it flawlessly.
But not all moms are in those shoes. Maybe you’re are in my shoes and you do have this working mom guilt on your shoulders too.
So what can you do about it, if something can be done?
Yes, it can. In fact, you should always know that there’s always a solution no matter the struggle. So let’s learn together and get rid of the working mom guilt once and for all.
So stop wasting those working mom guilt moments and start practicing these 14 ways to overcome working mom guilt and get back to living your life purposefully.
1. FOLLOW YOUR OWN RULES
You’re strong, to begin with. That labor was the supreme test right?! Now let me rephrase that. You’re strong enough to set your own rules and even if you brake your own rules it’s ok.
As they say, life gets in the way. So what you didn’t have time to cook and gave your child mac and cheese two days in a row?! Things happen and you should not feel pressured because you didn’t level up to the society’s expectations.
Instead, have realistic expectations based on your own life, schedule, and circumstances. In fact, have no rule. Rules are made to be broken anyways.
Take one step at a time and you do what you think it’s best for you and your child.
Which leads me to the next idea.
2. NO SELF-JUDGING
Why would you? Being a mom and having a job is basically what makes up your identity and your life revolves around these two aspects.
Because we tend to be our toughest critic we usually jump and judge ourselves whenever we fail at one or the other. So we feel guilty again.
How could you forget it was pajama day in school today? It can get overwhelming. But think that this is not something that will make or break your child’s future.
It’s not like she will fail in school because she didn’t wear PJs. Nobody is perfect and I bet you nobody will remember that incident anyways.
That’s why it would be a good idea to set up reminders.
3. SET UP REMINDERS
Between the million things a working mom has to do in a day, it’s no wonder you forget certain tasks. A super simple trick will help you stay organized.
Almost 90% of my patients (I’m a dental hygienist) put their next appointment on their phone so they don’t forget about it. How simple is this?
You set up reminders on your phone and have all your to-do tasks in one place and you can access them anytime. Depending on your needs you can opt for either reminders or to-do lists.
To make your life easier and help you stay organized you can use an app like Wunderlist, Any.do or Todoist.
4. LEARN FROM MISTAKES
Moms make mistakes. But if you are able to learn from them and make the necessary adjustments instead of fighting reality then you’re a winner!
5. TAKE A DEEP BREATH
Having any kind of guilt can really stress you out because it’s your instinct to fight that feeling of guilt. Once again, it becomes very easy to feel trapped.
In these tensed moments take deep breaths to help you calm down and relax and find peace.
Practicing deep breaths will help you detach yourself from all the stress in your life and get rid of that working mom guilt.
6. ACCEPT COMPROMISES
When you try to balance motherhood and career there has to be some sacrifice, but also make sure there’s a good reason for why you’re sacrificing.
Is it because you need the money? Is it for your sanity?
Have clear priorities and goals to help your motherhood journey blend more smoothly with your career.
7. BE GOOD ENOUGH
Is there a perfect mom? I would say imperfectly perfect. And that’s ok. It’s who you are in your child’s eyes that matters and you are her role model. don’t exhaust yourself.
8. PAY NO ATTENTION TO CRITICISM
Trying to be the best mother you can deserves appreciation and encouragement, not criticism. So if by any chance you encounter mean or negative comments or feedback from other moms don’t let them pull you down. Focus on what really matters
9. ENJOY BEING A WORKING MOM
Some moms go to work to keep their sanity and because sometimes you need some time away so you can reset yourself.
Changing the environment and socializing with your co-workers may actually benefit you.
Enjoy the simple pleasures that work gives you (like sipping coffee on your way to work – that’s my favorite moment).
10. YOU CAN’T SATISFY EVERYBODY
There will always be that one person who will be against you and criticize you that whatever you do is not good enough.
Don’t try to prove them wrong. You know better than that and they truly don’t deserve your precious time. Keep your focus on your wellbeing as well as your child’s.
11. IT’S OK TO BE SAD
It’s ok if you have days when you are sad or feel like crying. Don’t hide your feeling. It’s fine to shed a tear once in a while.
We all do. It’s going to help you release all the stress you’ve accumulated. You’ll feel relieved.
12. DON’T GET STUCK
Brainstorm and try come up with an answer to WHY you’re doing all this? You need a definite answer to help you have the willpower to cope with that guilt and reassure you that you’re doing the right thing.
13. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
You deserve a break once in a while, even if you’re not going on vacation. Just take some time off to reconnect with your child, family and just enjoy being a mom!
For example, have one weekend day errand-free and just be a mom.
14. THIS WON’T LAST FOREVER
Your child will grow, things will change and you’ll get a full night sleep again.
And maybe your job will change too and you’ll have more flexible hours. Stay positive and keep in mind that things will eventually change and hopefully for the better.